Feelings I've Never Told
by MarlyCook
Summary: When Rory's best friend, Jess, told her about his newly engagement... she reacted differently then a best friend should. After all these years.. will she show her true feelings? Will he show his?
1. Rory: He's Getting Married!

**Disclaimer: Only own Phoebe, Jamie, and Paige.**

**A/N: I really need to stop with the starting other stories. I can't help it, though! I get ideas and I have to write them. I'm also writing updates for three other stories. So, don't worry. **

**This is like the movie **_**My Best Friend's Wedding **_**or **_**Brown Sugar. **_**If you haven't seen either then it's okay. You'll get the story. Hope you enjoy. **

**All you need to know: **

**- Rory and Jess never dated, but they were best friends since they were kids.**

**- Rory went to college at Yale when she graduated and Jess went off to travel. Still kept in touch, but not much. **

**- Still best friends. **

**- They are both twenty-four.**

**

* * *

**Jamie walks into my office and sits down in front of me. I look up from my computer and smile at the man, "Hey Jamie." 

"Rory, hi. Listen, we need to talk."

I laugh a little at the feminine tone in his voice, "What is it?"

"Well, I know you said to screen all of your calls, but this one man demands that he speaks with you. He's rather annoying and he won't give up. So can you please take the call on line 1?" He asks, standing up.

Shaking my head, I laugh, "Okay, I'll take the call."

"Bye now." He walks out of my office and I pick up the phone. I hit line 1 and answer, "New York Times Editorial, this is Rory Gilmore speaking."

"You sound so professional. I'm proud," the voice on the other line jokes.

I smile at who it was, "How did I know it was you? How are you, Jess?"

"Great, actually. I called to spread the great news. I called you first, because you are the most important person in my life," he says, I can tell he was itching to tell me by the sound of his voice.

"Well, what is it?" I ask, getting excited.

There is a pause, and then a deep breath, "I'm getting married!"

My face drops and my heart feels like it shatters, "Wh-What?"

"I'm getting married in a week and a half. Paige wanted the wedding to be soon and it's not going to be too big. I proposed to her last night and she said yes!" He sounds so excited.

I put on a fake smile, "Oh, wow, soon. Well, congratulations."

"Thank you, I knew you'd be happy for me. Paige is so ready to meet you. I want you to be my best man."

I have to laugh at that, "You're kidding?"

"No, come on Ror, you're my best friend," he pleads and I almost feel bad.

Sighing, I tap my fingers on my desk, "Do I have to where a tux?"

"Yes."

"Jess, come on. I'm a girl," I try to reason with him, but he won't listen.

"You were your grandfather's best man at their second wedding. It would mean the world to me, Rory."

"Why can't you get Luke to do it?"

"Because, I want you in my wedding as something important." He sounds more serious now and I know he wants this badly. Maybe it would be odd to where a tux at some big wedding and be the best man when I am a woman, but it really means a lot to him.

"Fine," I give into this stupid idea and lean back into my chair.

"Great! We'll be down tomorrow. So come to Stars Hollow." I can practically hear him smile.

I nod, "Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

"Good. I'll see you later, Ror. Love you," he says and I pretend for just a second that he means it in the way that he would mean it to Paige.

"You too," I say before I hang up the phone. It's not abnormal for us to say that every time we hang up or part. We've said it since we were ten years old. It's almost like we are more like family than best friends.

Yet ever since I was fifteen I had wanted to be something more with him. I thought once we graduated the feeling would go away, but it only grew stronger. We have done everything together. He took me to our senior prom, he's been my date for every stupid social event, and he was even my escort for my coming out party when I was sixteen even though it would totally ruin his 'image'.

But the day he comforted me after my jerk of a boyfriend dumped me, I was in love. We were fifteen years old and I had gotten into a fight with Tristan, my boyfriend at the time, and he broke up with me. It was a depressing break up. So, I went straight to Jess and cried in his arms until mom came home from work.

I never told him how I felt, because I thought it would be too weird. So I tried my best to let him go, of course it never worked, as I said before. But now? Now he's getting married! Why? Why the hell is he going to get married to some girl he's only known for four months. He's not the Jess I knew. I don't want to meet her, I don't want to be in the wedding, I don't want to see him 'kiss the bride', and I definitely don't want to see him spend the rest of his life with _her_!

I groan and slam the papers down that I had been working on. I can't think about anything else, now. I grab my jacket off the back of my chair and slip it on, walking out of my office. I am taking the rest of the day off.

* * *

"Phoebe, will you come down to Stars Hollow with me?" I ask into the phone, sitting on the couch in my apartment.

"Rory…why?" Phoebe asks, whining, "You know that town is so Mayberry that it creeps me out."

I sigh and throw myself back into the couch, "Please! I can't deal with seeing Jess and that girl. I need a distraction and you're like my mother."

She groans and I can tell that is her way of giving in, "Fine," she mumbles and I can't control the smile that is forming on my face.

"Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I am taking the rest of the week off and leaving tonight. Can you do the same?" I ask, hopefully.

"You are so pushing it, but since I love you …" She leads me to an answer and laughs a little.

I sigh with relief, "I owe you. You are a life saver."

"Yeah, yeah … Now I must go. I think I smell smoke which means I left the burner on and accidentally set my apron on top."

"You were cooking?" I ask, bewildered.

"Attempting to," She laughs, "See you tonight Rory."

"Bye!" I smile and hang up the phone. I set the phone on the couch cushion beside me and look around the living room. Finally, I get up and walk over to the shelves that hold pictures of my past. I look directly at the one of me and Jess at our high school graduation. His arm is around me and I'm kissing his cheek. I have on a black robe and he has on a red one. I graduated from Chilton and he graduated from Stars Hollow High.

I turn away from it and walk into my bedroom. I look into the half full suitcase and start putting more clothes into it. I then look at myself in the mirror and laugh when I visualize a tuxedo on my body.

Shaking my head, I continue to pack up my suitcase. This is going to be a long week …

* * *

**A/N: Review, please? I know it's short, next won't be as short … I hope.**


	2. Jess: Seeing My Best Friend Again

**Disclaimer: I own Phoebe, Paige, Jamie, and Paige's friends.**

**A/N: So as you see, last chapter was named Rory because it was Rory's POV. This chapter will be Jess' POV, and maybe next chapter will be normal. It depends on what people like the most. So thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy!**

**All you need to know:**

- **Rory and Jess never dated, but have been best friends since they were kids.**

- **Rory went to Yale when she graduated and Jess went off to travel. Still kept in touch, but not as much.**

- **Both twenty-four.**

**I got my inspiration from the movie **_**My Best Friend's Wedding **_**and **_**Brown Sugar. **_**Never seen it? Its okay, you'll get it.**

**And by the way I want to give a special thanks to my BETA: Just A Girl Of The Hollowx3 AKA Cat. **

**

* * *

**

Sitting on the couch editing, I listen to Paige and her friend's talk about the wedding details. She loves doing this kind of stuff. Paige is a wedding planner or designer or whatever the hell she calls it. So crap like this is her specialty.

Paige and her friends have been planning her dream wedding since she was nine years old. For some reason, my mind goes straight to Rory when we were nine. The only big plans she had were graduating from Harvard and getting her license. I chuckle a little at the thought of her driving test.

My fiancé looks up at me from her place on the ground, "What? You don't like the idea of pink roses?"

I snap my head up, "Oh no, no, I was thinking about something else." I smile at her slightly and turn my head back to the manuscript in front of me.

Before I could get deep into the story Paige's friend, Michelle directs a question towards me. "So, Jess, the maid of honor is supposed to make out with the best man. So tell me, is your best man married? Or is he even cute?"

I can't help but let a burst of laughter flood out of my mouth. I don't think I have laughed this hard since I was escorting Rory in her 'coming out' event. We were sixteen then. When I finally start calming my laughter down I notice not only Michelle, but Paige, Clarissa, and Trisha are looking at me funny.

I clear my throat, "Sorry, it's just … I guess I didn't mention it. My best man is my best friend; therefore, my best man is Rory."

Paige spits out her drink, "What?! Why didn't you tell me?!" She's smiling, "I've been waiting to meet her!"

"Wait, wait, wait … your best _man_ is a woman?" Michelle asks, looking at me as if I had three heads.

"Well, my best friend is a woman. She is one of the most important people in my life. She is going to have an important role in my wedding." I'm getting slightly agitated and they can tell by the tone in my voice.

Michelle simply nods and looks back into the book for flowers. I look back at my manuscript. I feel Paige's eyes burning into me, but I don't look up. I don't want her to see the doubtful look in my eyes.

Every time I think of Rory being even remotely close to my wedding I get a nauseous feeling in my stomach. I've been in love with Rory since before I can even remember. She was always too good for me, though. I mean, she went to a big private school and I went to a public high school. The number of students in my whole school was about the number of students in her graduating class.

Her last name was well-known in high society. My last name was well-known in the police station. She always had dates with the prep boys in her school and my dates were girls who would give it up, easily. But boy was I in love with her, I might still be in love with her, but I have to move on. After all of these years I've kept my feelings hidden, but I've showed them just a tiny bit. She never got the hint.

All of the sudden Paige's high-pitched voice matched with her friends' became absolutely annoying. I groan, frustrated, and slam my manuscript down. "I cannot get anything done with your giggling and talking. I told you guys I had work to do," I snap at them and stand up.

Walking back into the kitchen, I mumble to my dog, Bee, "Why the hell did I agree to them using _my _apartment?"

My black lab looks up at me and then lays her head back down. I smirk slightly at the thought of me actually thinking she'd answer me this time. I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and walk into my bedroom, Bee walking close behind.

* * *

The next morning I wake up to my cell phone buzzing off the table. I open my eyes and catch it before it drops. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I flip it open and answer, "Hello?"

"When are you getting down here?" I smirk at the voice on the other line.

"Hi Lorelai," I say, still smirking and laughing slightly.

"You know I had to hear about you getting married from Rory first and then Luke. Why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me?" There is a pause as I yawn.

I answer, "Sorry, I've been busy since I proposed. Paige and her friends are always over here. I just haven't gotten the chance to let anyone know. The only reason I told Rory and Luke is because they are in the wedding. Liz knows because Luke forced me to call her. So again I will apologize."

"Don't apologize just come home soon. I want to meet the bride and Rory is dying to meet her. She's running around trying to make everything perfect for your wedding. She even bought the town square out for the evening, for your reception."

I chuckle at the thought of Rory's habit to make everything perfect, "I figured she'd do something big to make up for her reaction. She did _not _sound happy." I emphasize on not hoping she gets my point.

"Well, you know Rory. Change makes her nervous, Jess. When you guys graduated she went into like some mental breakdown at the thought of being separated. Not only from you, but from me."

I smirk and sit straight up in my bed, resting my right palm on my head, "I know, but she'll … like Paige. I hope."

"I'm sure we will. Come down here soon."

"I'm coming down today, I think." I say, getting out of bed.

"Good." She hangs up and I am not surprised by her blunt goodbye or her … no goodbye. She does it all of the time. She'll call me whenever she wants to and then when she hangs up it will be quick without any form of goodbye.

Rory's mother was like a mother to me. We had fights like a mother and son would and we also had a bond that a mother and son would. She would even have hard time choosing sides when Rory and I fought.

Walking into the bathroom, I glance at the picture on the nightstand. It's a picture of Paige and I at her grandparent's fiftieth wedding anniversary. I pick up the frame and open the back. I take out the picture behind the one of Paige and me. It's one of Rory and me at a baseball game on her twentieth birthday. We both hated sports, but Luke had got four tickets so we all went anyways.

I was never angry when I looked at the picture before, but now when I look at it I'm furious. How dare Paige cover up one of the best days of my life with the day I got stung by a red wasp and got sent to the hospital? Unfortunately, I was allergic to wasps. I put the back on again and set the picture down. Walking into the bathroom, I think about going to Stars Hollow. I'm really ready to see Rory. I miss her more than I thought I did.

* * *

We arrive in Stars Hollow a little later then planned due to Paige having to get her hair just right. I walk Paige to the diner, "Stay in here, okay? Tell Uncle Luke when he comes out that you're my fiancé and I'll come back in like an hour."

"How do I know who Luke is?" She asks, looking around the diner. We still haven't really talked about me getting so angry last night, but I think we're okay.

"He'll be wearing a flannel shirt and backwards hat." I sigh, "You'll recognize him." I kiss her quickly, "Be back soon."

I knew Rory would be at the bridge. I walk up and see her figure. She was leaning over and looking at her reflection. Smirking, I walk over to her taking slow strides. She must have heard me, because she looked up and smiles. "Jess!" She screams and jumps up.

I smile as she jumps on me and hugs me so tight I can't breath, "Hey Ror," I say, breathing in her scent. Coffee, the clean 'shower fresh' smell, and she even oddly smells like baby powder.

"I've missed you so much!" She clings to me and doesn't pull back. Her arms are resting on my shoulders and her head is under my chin.

I hold onto her tightly, we haven't been this close since the day we hugged before we left home and ventured out into the real world, "I've missed you, too." I say into her soft brown hair.

She finally pulls back and looks up at me, smiling, "Where is that fiancé of yours? I have to meet her. See if she is good enough for my Jess." She winks at me and hooks her arm into mine.

"Please, do not interrogate her. Your mother and my mother will already be doing that." I say, bumping into her slightly.

She laughs as we make our way off of the bridge, "That's because your mother will always love me more than any girl you bring home. Face it."

"True," I deadpan, but smirk a little. Mothers know best.

"By the way, I have a date for your wedding." She smiles, obviously trying to hide her laugh. The thought of having to see her with another guy makes me queasy, but then again I am with another girl.

"Who?" I ask, "Can I meet him?"

She smiles, "_Her _name is Phoebe and no I have not turned on you. I just wanted her to come; she's my best friend up there in New York."

I gasp, pretending to be offended, "You mean she's taken my role as best friend?"

"Never. I promise, no matter what she says you will be the maid of honor in my wedding. Or matron actually." She chuckles, "And if you think I am joking … I'm not."

I shoot her a playful glare as we get closer to the diner. When we are at least three feet from the diner she stops and looks in.

"Is that her?" She asks, nodding her head to a girl with dark hair sitting at the counter.

"Yup," I say before tugging her inside to meet my future bride. She follows behind and I can't help but feel that she has an almost … upset look on her face. I get to the door, but before I open up I look back at her. She automatically covered her features with an obvious fake smile. I can read her like a book.

Then it hit me … is Rory not happy that I am getting married?

**

* * *

**

A/N: So here it is! Hope you enjoyed and as I said before... next chapter could be in Normal POV. Review, please?


	3. Rory: She's Pretty

**Disclaimer: I own Phoebe, Paige, Jamie, and Paige's friends.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love writing this story! If you want to see the trailer for it then go to my profile. **

**All you need to know:**

- **Rory and Jess never dated, but have been best friends since they were kids.**

- **Rory went to Yale when she graduated and Jess went off to travel. Still kept in touch, but not as much.**

- **Both twenty-four.**

**I got my inspiration from the movie **_**My Best Friend's Wedding **_**and **_**Brown Sugar. **_**Never seen it? It's okay, you'll get it.**

**And by the way I want to give a special thanks to my BETA: Just A Girl of the Hollow x3 AKA Cat. **

-----------------

I walk in to the diner behind Jess, he's looking at me oddly and I don't want to know why. We walk up to the counter and Jess taps on her shoulder, "Paige?"

"Jess! Hey!" She kisses him on the mouth. She did it so easily, without even thinking, without any emotion. If that were me … every kiss would be as good as the first. I shake my head to get that thought out of my head and I watch him.

He turns to me with a big smile, "Paige this is Rory, my best man. Rory this is Paige, my fiancée." Paige looks at me with wide eyes. She looks from my head to my toes and then puts on a shaky smile, "Hi."

"Nice to meet you." I force myself to say and I stick my hand out for her to shake. She makes her smile a little wider and hugs me instead.

"Jess talks about you all of the time!" She squeals and I feel like every glass in the diner just shattered. That high-pitch girly squeal that I heard from the slutty girls in my high school days.

I wish I could say the same about her. Jess actually never really told me much about her, "Well I've heard about you, too," I say, pulling out of the hug. Damn this lying mouth.

"My friends are coming with me in a couple of hours to pick out a wedding dress. I would love for you to come with me and meet them."

I look at Jess with a helpless look and he gives me those eyes that used to make me do anything. I glare at him slightly and turn to look at her, "Yeah, I'll come. Can my friend Phoebe come with me?"

"Of course! The more opinions the better!" Paige smiles and stands up, "We're leaving at three."

"Okay, then." I force a smile and turn when I hear the door open behind me. Mom walks in and her smile grows wider as she runs up and envelops Jess in a huge hug.

"Jesse!" She squeals, holding onto him tighter than she intended to, "When did you get here?"

Jess hugs her back and pulls away, "Not long ago … maybe an hour. I had to go see Rory first."

"Oh of course," she says, giving him a slight smirk. I notice it, but I doubt she knows I did.

Jess turns to his fiancée, "Paige this is Rory's mom, Lorelai. This is my fiancé, Lorelai." He smiles at Paige and then glances at me.

"Oh nice to meet you." My mother holds out her hand to shake Paige's.

"You too." Paige shakes her hand and then turns back to her coffee.

_Where did the bubbly annoying Paige go?_ I think, seeing how her attitude just changed quickly. My mom gives me a slight smile and hooks her arm with mine.

----------------------

I lean back on the unbelievably uncomfortable couch and roll up my sleeves. It is very stuffy in this store. Phoebe is sitting beside me with her feet propped up on the foot stool, stuffing her face with mini chocolate chip cookies. I glance at her and laugh slightly.

"What?" She asks her mouth full of cookies. I shake my head and wait for Paige to walk out of the dressing room. Her friends are in the back looking for bride's maid dresses and Phoebe and I got stuck watching her try on dresses.

She walks out, "Does this one look okay?" She sounds aggravated and I laugh at the cause of her aggravation. Phoebe can be harsh sometimes, totally unintentional, though.

"I think it looks fine," I say, smiling.

"I think it looks like I should put you in between two graham crackers and a bar of chocolate," Phoebe replied, nonchalantly. She examined the cookie she took out of the bag before popping it into her mouth and looking back up at Paige.

I shoot a look at Phoebe and then look back at Paige, "Anymore options?" I ask, sweetly.

She gives an annoyed groan and walks back into the dressing room. I turn my attention back to Phoebe and fix her with a cold stare.

She eventually feels my eyes on her and she slowly lifts her head up to look at me, "What?" She asks, innocently.

"You are horrible. Can't you at least try to be nice so I won't be scolded by Jess?" I ask her, giving her the best of my doe eyes.

She rolls her eyes and nods, "Fine."

"Thank you," I say, smiling. I grab a cookie out of the bag and pop it into my mouth.

Paige walks out with a really pretty dress on and stands in front of us with her hands on her hips, "What about this one?"

"That's actually-"

"Gorgeous," Phoebe finishes for me and looks at her with wide eyes, "Take your hair down out of that clip."

Paige reaches back and undoes her hair. Dark waves fall past her shoulder and she spins to show off the back-less dress. My stomach turns as I look at her, she really is pretty. No fair.

"You look pretty." Phoebe smiles, genuinely.

"Thank you." Paige smiles wide, showing her perfectly straight; white teeth. She walks to the back to show her friends the dress they picked out.

"I still don't like her, though," Phoebe adds, putting another cookie in her mouth. I laugh at her and wait for Paige to return with her posse from hell.

----------------

"Do you like her?" Jess asks me quietly, later that night. He's swinging his legs off of the bridge and it reminds me of him as a kid.

I take my eyes off of the stars and glance at him, "I guess, yeah, why?"

"It's important to me that you like her," he says, breaking eye contact with me and looking down at his hands.

"Why?" I push and look down into the water. I look back up at him when he doesn't give me a response.

Finally, he looks up from his hands and sighs, "Because you are important to me. If you don't like her, I don't think I could go through with marrying her."

I smile at him, "Yeah, Jess, I like her."

He nods and lies back on the bridge, "Good."

I lay back with him and put my arms folded behind my head, "I don't like her friends, though." I laugh a little and he joins me.

"Neither do I … For some reason I knew you wouldn't," he smirks.

"You know me too well." I laugh and he nods, "When are your other groom's men coming down?"

"Well you, Luke, and two of my other friends from Philadelphia are my groom's men, or woman in your case. So Matt and Lucas should be coming down tomorrow. You'll love them they are two of the funniest guys I have ever met, especially when they are together." He chuckles a little and all I can do is stare at him. He really likes his new life in Philly.

I get a twinge of jealousy when he talks about his new friends or most importantly when he talks about Paige.

"Can't wait to meet them," I say, looking up at the quarter of a moon, "Is your dad coming?" I ask, hoping he'll say yeah. We never talk about his dad a lot. His dad left when Jess was born, but came back when he was five saying that he wanted to be a family. He stayed for four months and then left Jess and his mom again. He came back for Jess' graduation and they have been better since then, but Jess never really forgave him.

Jess and Liz lived in Stars Hollow since Jess was six years old. Liz and Lorelai have been best friends since then. Liz worked at renaissance fairs all over the state. She was gone a lot so Luke, Jess' uncle and owner of the infamous diner of Stars Hollow, raised him.

"I don't know. Paige made me send him an invitation. Him coming is his choice." I know Jess wants his dad to come deep down. I can see through his James Dean wanna-be appearance unlike most people. On the inside his heart is fragile, especially when it came to his dad.

"Okay," I say, nodding.

"Mom's coming home tomorrow," he says with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"You miss your mom?" I ask, teasingly.

"I don't know … I kind of do. Don't tell her, please." He laughs a little and I join in with a slight chuckle.

"She'd love to hear that, you know," I tell him.

He nods and mutters, "I know."

I smile at him and prop up on my elbows looking at him, "Do you ever miss when we were kids?"

"Yeah … sometimes I do," he answers me and sits up too.

"Everything was a little easier then … I mean we weren't getting married and it was like we were the only ones that were important to each other. It was me and you forever," I say, thinking about my true feelings for Jess.

"Nothing will change that, Ror. We'll always be best friends and you will always come first," he says, looking at me intensely.

"Good," I say and think about everything. I go over it in my head, how everything will change once he says 'I do.' How even though he says I will always come first, I won't. It all makes me uneasy. I want him happy, but I want him in my life like he is now. Holidays won't be the same. He'll have to go visit her family, or he'll have his own family and the Christmas tradition will change.

"Jess?" I start, uneasily.

"Yeah?" He questions, looking from the pond to me.

I just want to tell him to say he promises, but what comes out of my mouth takes both of us by surprise, "Don't get married."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are appreciated immensely!**


	4. Jess: Unbelievable!

**Disclaimer: I own Phoebe, Paige, Jamie, and Paige's friends.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love writing this story! If you want to see the trailer for it then go to my profile. **

**All you need to know:**

- **Rory and Jess never dated, but have been best friends since they were kids.**

- **Rory went to Yale when she graduated and Jess went off to travel. Still kept in touch, but not as much.**

- **Both twenty-four.**

**I got my inspiration from the movie **_**My Best Friend's Wedding **_**and **_**Brown Sugar. **_**Never seen it? It's okay, you'll get it.**

**And by the way I want to give a special thanks to my BETA: Just A Girl of the Hollow x3 AKA Cat. **

**

* * *

**I stare at her in disbelief. My chest is pounding as I watch her mouth open and close, trying to think of what to say. All I can do is stare, afraid that if I open my mouth I will say something I will regret. 

"I just- I mean- Jess, all I was trying to say is that if you get married nothing will be the same. I know you say it will be, but you don't know that. It won't be. It'll be you and Paige forever and I won't be the only girl in your life anymore. We're best friends, Jess, but after you say 'I do' we won't be as close."

She's looking at my face, trying to read my emotions. She knows she's made me angry. I bite my tongue and stand up without saying a word to her.

"Jess?" Rory calls to me, standing up also, "Come on, Jess … say something."

I turn around, "I can't! Because all I am going to do is blow up at you! Rory, God! Let me be happy without making me feel guilty!"

"I didn't say you couldn't be happy, ju—," I cut her off, not wanting to hear more.

"Just I'm leaving you out, is that it Rory?" I bite at her, wanting to hurt her as much as she has hurt me. She flaunted around her boyfriends for the past ten years … I finally have someone and she is put off because she's not the only girl in my life anymore.

"No! Well, yeah, but … not like that!" Rory has her pleading voice on, the one that I usually break down for, because I hate making her cry.

"I'm sorry, Rory, okay? I am sorry that I have someone that I love enough to marry and you are still single! I'm sorry I have grown up and got a life!" She winces, noticeably at my words and I suddenly feel a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what I said was a little harsh, but I needed her to stop talking so I could get away.

She backs down and looks at me with her eyes glistening. I shake my head and walk off of the bridge, leaving her heartbroken.

I walk to Luke's and up to the apartment. I walk in and Paige is curled into a ball on the couch, watching a movie and eating cookies. I look over at the kitchen and it is clean with a plate of fresh cookies in the middle of the counter.

She's so different from Rory. Rory would have eaten the dough raw and if she wouldn't have, she would have burnt the cookies.

_Flashback_

_Rory fans the oven as smoke comes out and fills the kitchen. The smoke alarm is going off and a bag of flour had been spilt. I walk over to the alarm and turn it off before walking over to Rory, "What were you doing?" I ask her._

_She turns to me with tears forming in her eyes, "I'll never be like June Cleaver!"_

"_And I thank god for that, because honestly the Stepford Wives thing is so creepy." I smirk, trying to make light out of this situation. Even though I honestly don't know what is wrong with her._

"_You don't get it Jess! Women are supposed to be able to cook! It is supposed to be in their blood!" _

"_Rory, woman are also supposed to not eat, because they are obsessed about getting fat," I add and grab a broom from beside the refrigerator. _

"_So what are you trying to say? I'm not a woman?!" She raises her voice and rests her head in her hands._

"_Of course you are. You are a Gilmore woman, though. Not being able to cook is in YOUR blood. It's like genetic." I smirk at her and sweep up the white powder, "What possessed you to try out your cooking skills?"_

_She just crosses her arms over her chest and sniffs, "Well, Tristan said he wanted a wife that could cook so he didn't have to go through maid after maid." _

_I just laugh and pull her into an embrace, "Come here, you." I hug her and she lets her arms fall limply at her sides before wrapping one loosely around me, "I'm sure you'll be a great wife for someone, cooking skills or not." _

_I feel her nod and rest her head under my chin._

_End Flashback_

Paige looks up from her movie and smiles, "Hey baby."

I walk over to her and kiss her full on the mouth, trying to get the thoughts of hurting Rory out of my head. She kisses me back before moving her head away and glancing behind me to catch a glimpse at the film.

Walking over to the fridge, I hear her call to me, "You and Rory have a good time?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I reply, getting a soda out of the refrigerator.

I hear Paige get off of the couch. Her footsteps get closer and she wraps her arms around my waist from behind. She lays her head on my back, "Jess … are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I get out of her hold and walk over to the couch. She follows me and leans in front of me on the table, "Jess?"

"It's nothing Paige!" I snap at her and then regret it after seeing her eyes fill with hurt. I sigh, "I'm sorry, just watch the movie…let it go?" I didn't want to make her mad at me, too.

Paige just nods and sits beside me, not saying another word.

* * *

In Philadelphia, being drug down the road with a blindfold on my face and my fiancé behind me with one, also … I would be scared. In Stars Hollow, with my guide being Lorelai, it doesn't surprise me at all.

We stop in a certain spot and Lorelai takes the blindfold off of my face and then does the same to Paige. I look up and see Miss Patty's dance studio. I stop and look down at what I am wearing, "Lorelai, why did you tell me to wear a suit if we were just going here?"

"Because everyone else is," Lorelai replies, grinning at me and Paige. She grabs my hand and I grab Paige's. Lorelai pushes open the barn door and I smile when I see everyone inside dressed up nice.

Music is playing and there are gifts stacked on a table in the far corner.

"Lorelai, what is this?" I ask her, smiling.

"Rory planned an engagement party for you!" She smiles and walks in the building.

I look at Paige with a big smile on my face and walk inside, holding her hand. Even though we aren't on good terms, I still admit I love Rory to death for doing this.

* * *

It's been at least three hours and everyone is still here. Paige is opening the gifts and showing me every once in a while. I look around the room for Rory and see her finishing off a beer. I watch her closely and notice she is going up to the stage.

She walks up and taps on the microphone once and everyone looks up at her.

"Hello Stars Hollow!" She's a little tipsy and my stomach turns in a knot, but I wait to hear what she has to say, "As you all know, this engagemen- ment party is for the bad boy of Stars Hollow. Also-so known as my bestest friend, Jess Mariano."

"You all always-s thought it would be me and Jess getting married, huh? Well, so did I. He promised me that we would ru- run away when we were 21 and get m-married. Looks like that didn't work out. I mean, Rory Mariano? Sou- sounds good, doesn't it?" Paige furrows her brow and looks at me. I sigh and shake my head, heading for the stage.

"Well Paigey, just tre- treat my boy good, okay? Make him h- happy, any girl that can do that is good in my book. He's a hard guy-y to please. Oh, did did you know he was the first per- person I ever had s-sex with? Also the first guy that I ever k-kissed. I have many stories-s about Jess, I can go on and on a-and on …" I walk up the stage stairs and over to her.

"Rory, what are you doing?" I ask her, covering the microphone with my hand.

"Making a t-t-toast," she says, grinning at me. I shake my head and take her arm, leading her off of the stage.

I pull her outside and grip my head before speaking to her, "What the hell was that Rory?!"

"I w-was just mak- making a toast for you and Paige!" She stomps her foot on the black top and stumbles a bit.

"Are you trying to ruin this for me?!" I shout at her and run my hands through my hair.

"I-I'm ssorry." I hear her broken voice and I look up to see her standing there with tears running down her face, "I just miss my best friend, that's all."

I look up at the sky, the sun has gone down and the stars are glistening just like her Rory's eyes earlier today when he had yelled at her, "I'm still here, Rory." I groan a little and look at her, "Do you know how much explaining I am going to have to do tonight? To Paige?"

"Just … Jess, I'm s-s-sorry!" She slurs a bit, but she isn't completely drunk.

I lick my lips and nod my head, "You just told the whole town, including your mom, my mom, and my fiancé that you were my first and I was your first! I thought we made a deal to never tell anyone that!"

"It s-slipped out … I guess … I'm sorry."

"That word will only get you so far!" I stop and look at her. She stares at me with an emotionless face. Before I can say a word to her, she turns around and walks away.

She gets at least six feet away before she turns around, "Oh y-yeah, I plan-planned you a bachelor party." She hiccups, "Tomorrow night, be at Luke's at ten."

Despite whatever fight we have or whatever we say to each other or however mad we are at each other, she'll always keep a promise or something she has planned. I shake my head and walk back into the party.

I look at Paige who has stopped opening gifts and is looking at me with her arms crossed. I had a lot of explaining to do…

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter wasn't my favorite, but oh well. Give me an idea of what you would want to see happen. Review, please.**


	5. Rory: Deal

Disclaimer: I own Phoebe, Paige, Jamie, and Paige's friends. 

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love writing this story! If you want to see the trailers for it then go to my profile. I have two trailers for it now!**

**All you need to know:**

- **Rory and Jess never dated, but have been best friends since they were kids.**

- **Rory went to Yale when she graduated and Jess went off to travel. Still kept in touch, but not as much.**

- **Both twenty-four.**

**I got my inspiration from the movie **_**My Best Friend's Wedding **_**and **_**Brown Sugar. **_**Never seen it? It's okay, you'll get it.**

**And by the way I want to give a special thanks to my BETA: Just A Girl of the Hollow x3 AKA Cat. **

**

* * *

**I walk inside the house, or stumble really and go into my room. Phoebe stands there slipping on her other heel, "Hey Ror! I'm so so so sorry! I had work to do and then I fell asleep and when I woke up I noticed the time and—wait, why are you home?" 

I shake my head and sit down, "No more party … let's just go to bed and I'll tell you everything in the morning, okay?"

"Oh … okay." Phoebe nods and walks out of the bedroom and to the living room.

I sigh and lay on the bed, closing my eyes. Not even a minute goes by and I am asleep.

"_It's still raining out there," Jess said, looking outside at the droplets running down his window pane. _

"_Yup," I replied and paced around the room, pulling my jacket closer to my body._

"_Would you calm down? Just stay here tonight. Your mom won't be home from New York until tomorrow and Luke is out with Nicole. Why won't you just stay here?" He asked me and I laughed, bitterly._

"_Oh that's real nice. 'Hey mom, I stayed with Jess last night because you and Luke were out of town and it was raining real hard. Oh did I mention Jess and I are both sixteen and his hormones are in control of 75 percent of his body!'" I ranted and looked at him when I was finished._

_Smirking, Jess put his hand over his chest, "I can't believe you would think I would take advantage of you just because we are alone. And the lights went out, and the only source of light we have is the two candles Luke has and the flicker of lightning."_

_I glared at him, grabbing the pillow off Luke's bed and throwing it at him. He chuckled and threw it back at me. I laughed and set it on Luke's bed, "Okay, I'll stay. But, I am staying in Luke's bed."_

_"Fine, fine," Jess gave in and walked over to me, "but, can we stay up a little longer, watch MTV and make fun of the new reality shows that are taking over?"_

_I laughed and nodded, sitting down on the bed. "Sure," I patted the spot beside me and he got in, pulling the covers up on both of us._

_Jess flipped on the TV and moved closer to me._

_

* * *

__"You're a virgin?" I asked, disbelieving later on that night. _

_Jess sat in front of me, smirking, "What do you think I am? A man whore?"_

_I laughed and shook my head. "No! Of course not! It's just … You just seem experienced." _

_"No, I guess I'm waiting on the right girl. Or at least someone to make it special," he laughed, "Do I sound like a clichéd teenage girl or what?" _

_I laughed harder, "Jess has suddenly become Jessica, girl who dreams of her first time with a special guy who will sweep her off her feet and whisk her away." I stopped to take a breath from laughing and smiled at him softly, "I'm joking, Jess. I think it's a good idea to wait for someone special."_

_Jess nodded and smiled at me, "You think?"_

_"Yeah …Have you found that special girl?"_

_He shrugged and wiped the smirk off of his face, "Maybe."_

_I looked up at him and he leaned in a bit. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them back up as Jess was placing his lips softly on mine. It took me a minute, but I responded by kissing him back and placing my hand on his cheek._

_The lightning flashed, lighting up the apartment as Jess laid me back on the bed and comforted me by placing short kisses on my lips, continuously. I tugged on his shirt and he stopped to look at me, "Maybe we should …"_

_"Stop?" I asked him and he nodded, slowly._ _I knew it was too good to be true, so I went on._

_"Yeah, I mean … this is … odd. We're friends, best friends. This isn't right, not that it is wrong or bad, but it's just … we're frien—" He cut my rambling off with another kiss. Forgetting what we just said, I kissed him back. _

_Jess sat up to take off his shirt and I followed suit. He stared down at me and gently leaned down, descending his mouth on mine. I turned the sweet kiss into a fiery passionate one as I ran my hands down his back and clawed into his lower back when he moved his lips down to my neck. _

I shoot up in bed and hold my head. I sit there for a moment before realizing my dream was a replay of my first time with Jess. I sigh and pick up my clock beside my bed. 5 A.M.

I get out of bed and dress in warmer clothes before walking outside and down the road. I walk up to the diner and pick up a rock, throwing it up at the window. _'Please don't let Paige come to the window' _I think, waiting for him to come.

A few seconds later, he appears at the window and looks down at me. I hear him groan as he closes the window. Not even a minute later he walks out of the diner and over to me, "What the hell are you doing here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"I don't know … Honestly, since you've been back in town my world has gone crazy."

He stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I sigh and nod, "Right … So, you see, I've said things and done things that I'm not really proud of and I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Jess. Come on, we've been friends forever we can't let this little fight come between us, can we?"

"Paige is staying at the Inn tonight. After your little speech I had to explain that I might have left out a few details of our past. So she freaked out, thinking I lied to her and that I loved you at one point … or whatever. The thing is you always find a way to mess it up for me, Ror." He shrugs and breathes out, sticking his hands in the pockets of his sweat pants.

"Wha- Jess, no that's not what I was trying to do," I sigh and run my hands through my hair, angry that he won't raise his voice and just get mad at me. He's so calm it irritates me.

"Maybe not, but it's what you did. I'm always going to take your side, I'm always going to lie for you, or defend you and that messes up things for me. My last three girlfriends, before Paige, said something involving you … of course I defended you or took your side and guess what? I got dumped."

He sighs heavily, "I'm not going to do it anymore, Ror. I love Paige, okay? I love you, too and you know that, but I can't keep stopping myself from getting into a relationship just because of how close we are."

I nod and look down at the pavement, "You really love her, huh?" I look up at him and he's staring at me.

Jess nods and swallows hard, "Yeah."

"Then I will back off, okay? I'll go back to New York with Phoebe and call every once in a whi-,"

He cuts me off with a loud groan, "No! Damn it, Rory! I want you in my life! I still want you as my best man! I still want you to be around for every holiday! I want us to still be best friends …"

I nod, "Okay."

He looks at me, a surprised look crossing his features, "Okay? That's it? We can go back to normal?"

"Yeah," I say, taking a deep breath.

"Just like that?"

"Yes, Jess. Just like that, we're back to normal."

"Good," he nods his head and smiles a little, "good."

"I'm going to go back home. Remember, tonight at 10 we meet back here, got it?"

"Got it," he smirks and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You are a handful, you know that Gilmore?"

Hugging him to me, I nod, "I know. It's in the Gilmore blood."

He chuckles and kisses the top of my head, "Go home and get some sleep, and never wake me up this early ever again. Deal?"

"Deal," I smile at him and let go of my hold on him. "I hope you and Paige get over this … I can help a bit if you'd like."

"I think you've done enough, but thanks. We'll work it out." He starts walking backwards, back to the diner, "Night."

"Night," I smile and walk back to my house. Maybe we're just not meant to be anything more than friends. But I've dealt with being just friends for a while now, I can survive with being just friends for the rest of my life. I hope.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, again this chapter is not my favorite! The chapters, to me, start getting better in either next chapter or the next. But, even though it's not my favorite, I do like it. Review, please.**


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